Stoned Dethroned

Consider this a warning.

There are two minds I own. One has the faith of a child who knows not of the world, but of those 4 walls that keep him safe while he dreams, who falls in love with everyone he meets.
Then there is a boy with jaded eyes, who hates the world, who doesn't want to meet anybody else in fear of being let down, who feels confined within those 4 walls that keep him safe, who blames his past for forgetting names, who secretly wants to forget names, who's probably less fucked than he thinks he is, his chemical imbalance tells him otherwise.

I sit in rooms wishing I was outside but really, there's nothing out there for me. I literally feel like I need to be in my room charging my self for the rare occasion that I step that one foot out knowing what I'm leaving behind. I tell my self I'll be back. I know it. But sometimes I don't want to come back. I want to leave with the record player skipping and the lights still on. Ink still in the pen and the hum of the shower pipes still audible from when I just left, as if I just got ready to dissappear. I want nothing more than to be kissed and missed.

Consider this a warning. I'll tell one and I'll tell all. I'm broadcasting my downfall.