Tuesday, December 23, 2008

..

It comes in the night...or maybe in the day. I don't know anymore. It's all the same. You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach where you know you might have just made a big mistake? Like buyers remorse but 10 times worse. This time you lost something. You're all ears to anyone lending their open mouths. Waiting to hear what they have to say before you go ahead and run your self into the ground. There's always a good side, right? Wrong. What happens if it happens again? All the same things get said and done and you just go through the cycle again. Maybe you should spend some time alone and collect your thoughts. Sounds un appealing, I've done that too much, I do it too much. It hurts too much. I'd rather not think about it. But like I said, sometimes you ask your self why you do what you. What makes you act like a bug attracted to a bug zapper. There's never anything better. Or maybe there is. I think there is. I see that there is. But is it what I need to be complete? These days what does it take? There's always something wrong with me. There's always something going on. Maybe that's what I need, maybe I always need something to need to feel complete. Instead of just accepting the fact that things aren't that bad. Well they were, in your head. Maybe I need help. Maybe help doesn't care anymore because they've tried, called, and came but I never cared. Who knows. You can't arrest me anymore. You can't accuse me anymore. I won't fail you anymore. I won't fail me anymore. I won't be here anymore. I won't breathe anymore.

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